Oh My God!
by Casteline
Summary: Takes place around the time of Witch Stock. Chris revelation fic !suprise suprise!. Yada yada yada.
1. No one is this neat

**Title:**_Oh My God!_

**Rating**_ T: Language_

**Disclaimer:**_I do not own Charmed or any of its characters. I do however own Spike._

**Summary:**_ Chris revelation fic. Takes place around the time of Witch Stock._

**Author's note:** _This is my second Chris revelation fic. I like doing them. _

_**Part one: No One is this Neat**_

"Energy ball!" Paige called, before sending the energy ball back at the demon. It had no affect as it dissipated into the demons skin.

After the incident with Bianca, Chris had been determined more than ever to protect Wyatt. This meant a new demon vanquish every day. Today it happened to be the Caza demon, which was possibly one of the ugliest ones yet. Piper and Paige were in an alleyway behind P3, fighting said demon.

"PIPER!" Paige shouted. "Wanna blow him up?"

Piper flung her hands up. The demon exploded into a million tiny pieces.

"Two down, one ...to go," Paige said as the demon reformed. "Oh."

"Now what?" Piper asked, blasting it again as it reformed to give them more time.

"I don't k-" Paige was cut off as the Caza reformed and telekinetically flung her into a wall, unconscious.

Then her turned to Piper and threw an energy ball.

Piper flew her hands up to freeze it, but nothing happened. "Uh oh."

She dodged to the ground as the energy ball hit the wall behind her. When she looked up, a woman was throwing a series of potions at the demon, the last of which caused it to go up in flames.

The woman was in her early twenties, she had hot pink hair with black streaks that came down to just below her ears(when neatly brushed), and bright blue eyes. She was wearing long, worn jeans, a knee-length spaghetti-strap grey and pink stripped dress, several long necklaces, and a few weapons tucked away here and there.

"Who are you?" Paige asked, regaining consciousness.

But the woman ignored her and shimmered away.

"You okay?" Piper asked, helping Paige up.

"Yeah," Paige answered before orbing the duo back to the manor.

-------------

"That's the fifth time in two weeks Paige," Piper said, following Paige up the stairs.

"I know."

"Where are we going?" Piper asked.

"To get a scrying crystal."

"Why. What's to scry for."

"Our little demon friend," Paige smiled, turning to her sister, holding up an athame.

"Where'd you get that?" Piper asked, taking it from her hands and examining it. It had a black handle with the letters SPMH engraved in pink fancy letters. The blade itself was different than the normal metallic color. It was metallic, yes, but when you moved it, it glowed different colors depending on the lighting.

"Orbed it off her during the attack," Paige answered, taking the blade back and holding it opposite the crystal, and began to scry.

-------------

"Paige, are you sure this is the right place? Piper asked as they knocked on the door for the fifth time.

"Yes. I checked four times. Maybe she left. Let's orb in." Paige took her sisters hand and orbed into the apartment.

"Wow," Piper said.

"No one is this neat," Paige said, then added, "With the exception of you."

Now there's two kinds of neat. The kind that says the person that lives there is almost never around and has very little stuff. And the kind that says that the person who lives there is a total neat freak. This happened to be the latter. Nothing was out of place. Makeup, jewelry, a hairbrush all aligned. Bed neatly made. Refrigerator contents neatly organized.

"Oh my god. Piper come look at this." Paige had been looking through a drawer and found a picture held in a plastic cover.

"Oh my god," Piper said. "It's us."

The picture was of a large group of people. Some recognized, others not.

"Me, You, Phoebe, Leo, Mom, Victor, Sam, Grams, Prue! Darryl, Sheila. Our mystery girl. That kinda looks like Wyatt and Darryl Jr." And indeed it did, but older. A lot older. Wyatt was probably 16. "And that looks like Bianca and... Oh my god. Is that Chris?" Paige pointed to a young teen with shaggy dark blonde hair, and green eyes.

"It is," Piper said, wide eyed. She took the picture from Paige and turned it over.

"The last time we were all together. The last time we were happy," Piper read aloud. "I wonder who the rest of these people are."

"Let's ask Chris," Paige smiled, taking her sisters arm and orbing away.

--------------

"CHRIS!" Paige called, once back at the manor.

"Yeah?" Chris asked, orbing in.

Paige held up the picture with a look that clearly said _What the hell is this?_ Piper's expression mirrored Paige's'.

Chris' eyes grew, and his face went pale. "How did you get this?" he asked, the mask having fallen over his face once again.

"You know that demon that has showed up to several of our vanquishes. I got her athame and we scryed for her. We found an apartment and then we found this. What is going on? Who are you really?"

"Where's the athame?" Chris asked, ignoring Paige's questions.

Paige pulled it out of her purse and handed it to Chris.

"God damn her," he shouted to no one in particular, after seeing the knife.

That's when Piper noticed that at the bottom corner of the back side of the picture, the letters SPMH were written in loopy pink letters.

"What is going on Chris?" Piper asked.

Chris ignored her. "SPIKE!" He shouted. "SPIKE YOU GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!"

The woman with pink hair shimmered in. "Hello Chris," she said happily, ignoring the rage in his eyes.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he asked angrily.

"I don't even know how you found out."

"Well, maybe if you'd paid more attention to when someone orbs something out of your pocket, you would be able to figure it out," he said, holding up the athame.

"How'd you get that?" she said, snatching the blade away from him.

"Paige orbed it away from you at the vanquish you helped them with. Then scryed for you, and found this," he held up the picture, "at your apartment. Now what the hell are you doing here?"

"I came back to do the same thing as you."

"And leaving a picture that could mess up the future lying around your apartment seemed okay to you?"

"You have a copy of it too," she said rudely. "You never go anywhere with out yours."

"Yes," Chris said, pulling an identical picture out of his pocket. "But I never leave it sitting around where someone can find it!"

"Quit yelling at me! You are not my father!" Spike shouted back at him.

"No. I'm not. But I have taken care of you since you were fourteen!"

-------

-Ella-the-crash-test-dummy-


	2. Oops!

**Title:**_Oh My God_

**Rating**_ T: Language_

**Disclaimer:**_I do not own Charmed or any of its characters. I do however own Spike._

**Summary:**_ Chris revelation fic. Takes place around the time of Witch Stock._

**---**

**Previously, on Charmed: **

**-------------**

_"Quit yelling at me! You are not my father!" Spike shouted back at him._

_"No. I'm not. But I have taken care of you since you were fourteen!" _

_--------------_

_**Part Two: Oops!**_

Spike suddenly broke down, falling into his arms, tears streaming down her face.

Piper and Paige watched them in amazement and Chris wrapped his arms around the girl and began trying to comfort her.

"Now," Chris said, once they had both calmed down, "Since when do you shimmer?"

"Since Wy put a ban on orbing. Anyone caught orbing was executed on the spot. I guess I just got used to shimmering."

"This is great, really," Piper said, "Now what the hell is going on? And who are you?"

"Just a minute," Spike said, holding a finger up. "How much do they know?" she asked Chris.

"Just that I came back to save Wyatt from evil. Nothing else."

"Idiot. How could you not tell them who you are? Was your mother this stupid? Or did you get it from Daddy dearest?"

"Here's an idea. Shut up," Chris said, obviously annoyed.

"Anyone gonna answer our questions?" Piper asked.

"My name is Sarah Patience. Spike. I'm a friend of Chris' from the future."

"Next question. What the hell is up with that picture? We knew you in the future?" Paige asked.

"Yes, we were friends of Wyatt and yours and Phoebes kids," Chris said, careful to avoid anything to revealing.

"Ok. Who are the rest of these people?" Piper asked indicating to the picture.

Aside from the charmed ones, and family, Chris, Darryl's family, Spike and Bianca, there was two men no one recognized, three girls and a boy around Chris age, a blonde girl about ten years younger than the charmed ones, and a redhead about the same age.

Chris sighed. "You know what. I'll tell you. I'll use some memory dust if it comes to it. Those two and him," Chris pointed to two of the teenage girls and the boy, "are Phoebe's kids. She," points to the remaining girl, and said to Paige, "is your daughter. They," he points to the two men, "Are yours and Phoebes husbands, and they, are friends of the family, you'll meet them in a few years," he said, pointing to the last two girls.

"Oh, you'll tell them that, but you won't tell them Wyatt is the future source of all e...vil. Oops," Spike said before Chris could stop her.

"WHAT!" Piper exclaimed.

"Just a minute, Phoebe is calling," Chris said

"From Hong Kong?" Paige asked, seeing as Piper was making angry fish faces.

"No. New York," Chris said sarcastically, orbing out.

Seconds later he appeared with Phoebe.

"What's going on? Who is she? Why is Piper upset?"

"Is there a reason you wanted to come here, or did I just waste a trip to China?"

Phoebe stuck her tongue out at him. "I wanted to see my family. And I could feel Pipers frustration from _Hong Kong_."

"Oh. That would be her fault," Chris pointed to Spike.

"Who she?" Phoebe asked as Piper regained the ability to speak.

"That's Spike. She a friend of Chris' from the fu-" but Paige's answer was drowned out by Piper screaming.

"WHAT THE HELL DOES SHE MEAN;_ WYATT IS THE FUTURE SOURCE OF ALL EVIL_? WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?"

"What's she talking about?" Phoebe asked Paige.

"Oh, Spike here just dropped this little bombshell on us the Wyatt grows up to be the source."

"That's probably why I felt her anger."

Paige nodded.

"This is your fault, I blame you," Chris said to Spike as Piper tried to attack him.

"Hey, at least I didn't say anything about you being-" Spike was cut of as Chris TKed a pillow at her.

"What does she mean, Source of all evil? She's lying right?" Piper said menacingly.

"No. Alright. I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to worry you. I came back to save Wyatt from turning evil, okay?" Chris shouted at her. "I came back to save him from torturing the world."

"Are we sure we can trust the? I mean, do you think they're tell the truth?" Phoebe asked her younger sister.

"I think so," Paige said, holding up the picture. "We seemed to then."

"Oh, my god."

"Yeah."

"PIPER!" Chris exclaimed as she backed him into a wall. He orbed behind her before saying. "Calm down. This is exactly why I didn't tell you. I grew up with you; I know how you react to things like this. I know how you reacted when you found out."

Piper started to calm down. She fell onto the couch and stared at nothing silently. After a minute or so she spoke, "But how? Were we bad parents?"

"NO!" both Chris and Spike exclaimed.

The Chris added, "No. You were great parents. It's something that happened to him before her turned two. That's why I came back. To find out what demon turned him. Then I'm going to stop it from happening."

"We," Phoebe said.

Chris looked at her in confusion. "We are going to stop it."

Paige and Piper nodded in agreement.

"And no more secrets," Piper added.

"Oh. In that case," Spike said, "Maybe no would be a good time to tell them that you're-"

Chris flung the pillow at her again. "You're worse than your aunt you know?"

"Hey, she's your aunt too. And I though we didn't speak ill of the dead."

"She's not dead yet," Chris retorted in a _duh_tone.

"Wait," Piper said, "You guys are related?"

"Our moms were sisters," Chris said.

"Yes, our moms were-"

"Shut...up...NOW!" Chris said pausing between words.

"You have to tell them eventually," Spike pointed out.

"No I don't."

"Tell us what?" Phoebe asked.

"Something I can't tell you for a few months," Chris said. "So, who wants to go demon hunting?"

The sisters groaned.

"Hey, your the ones who wanted to help save Wyatt," Spike pointed out, "Remember."

--------

-Ella-the-crash-test-dummy-


	3. I Think She Knows

**Title:**_Oh My God_

**Rating**_ T: Language_

**Disclaimer:**_I do not own Charmed or any of its characters. I do however own Spike._

**Summary:**_ Chris revelation fic. Takes place around the time of Witch Stock._

**Author's note:** _This chapter skips forward a few months, to after The Courtship of Wyatt's Father._

**Previously, on Charmed:  
**  
_"Something I can't tell you for a few months," Chris said. "So, who wants to go demon hunting?"_

_The sisters groaned._

_"Hey, your the ones who wanted to help save Wyatt," Spike pointed out, "Remember."_

_**Part Three: I Think She Knows**_

"Piper, where are you going?" Paige asked, as Piper walked toward the kitchen.

"Going to make a bowl of ice cream," Piper said. She went into the kitchen and pulled a tub of ice cream out of the freezer and scooping a large bowl out, before passing it to her sisters to dish themselves out some.

"Now. Where are the bananas?"

"Piper?" Phoebe asked slowly. "You hate bananas."

Piper looked thoughtful for a moment. "Oh yeah. Oh well," she shrugged, grabbing a banana out of the bottom of the fruit basket, cutting it into slices and throwing them in the bowl of ice cream, then heading back into the living room.

"So," Spike asked, "Where is my little runt?"

"Sheila's. I don't know how you can call him a runt. He's three years older than you," Chris pointed out.

"No. Two years. Remember, you were born a year after him, and I was born a year after you. That equals two not three. Besides, I'm almost twenty years older than him in this time."

"So, Chris old are you in this time?" Paige asked.

"I haven't been born yet."

"You know," Piper said thoughtfully, examining her ice cream. "I haven't eaten ice cream and bananas since...Oh, my god!"

"What is it Piper?" Paige asked confused.

"Chris," Piper started. "You said she was worse than her aunt about keeping secrets, and that she's both of your aunts, and your moms were sister? Right?"

"Yeah. I'm not sure where you're going with this though."

"And, your part witch part Whitelighter..." She grabbed the picture off the coffee table, "Oh my god!"

"Anybody know where she's going with this?" Paige asked.

Piper remained silent, staring wide-eyed at Chris. "Oh my god," she mumbled.

Chris didn't notice this.

"Ah...Chris," Spike said, "I think she figured it out."

"What makes you think that?" Chris asked turning to his cousin, who nodded in Pipers direction. "Oh."

"Oh, my god," Piper said again.

"Piper!" Phoebe shouted, "Snap out of it. What is going on?"

"Am I right?" Piper asked Chris, ignoring her sister.

Chris sighed, dropping his head into his hands. He nodded slightly before looking back at her with tears in his eyes.

"Oh my god...And we've all been so horrible to you. Why the hell didn't you tell us?"

"Tell us what?" Paige asked growing agitated at being kept out of the loop.

"What do you see?" Piper asked, handing her the picture.

"A big happy family of sorts, considering not everyone is actually family."

"Look at Chris. Who do you see?"

Paige and Phoebe stared at the picture silently for a moment.

"Oh my god," Phoebe said, realizing.

"What?" Paige asked, completely oblivious.

"When was the last time you saw Piper eating bananas? In her ice cream?"

"Over a year ago I guess."

"And what was going over just over a year ago?" Phoebe said, trying to clue her in.

Paige gave her a blank look.

"Oh, this is going to be a long nine months if she can't figure it out," Piper said.

"Eight months," Chris corrected.

Piper looked at him questioningly.

"I was a month premature."

"Oh my god!" Paige exclaimed, realizing what was going on.

"I'm still blaming you for this," Chris said to Spike.

"What? Don't you feel so much better now."

Chris glared.

"Wait, if your Pipers son, and she is your cousin, then that means that your mine or Paige's daughter," Phoebe said, indicating to Spike. "And seeing as you got the inability to keep secrets from your aunt, I'm gonna say its Paige."

Spike shrugged.

-----------

-Ella-the-crash-test-dummy-


	4. Daddy Dearest

**Title:**_Oh My God!_

**Rating**_ T: Language_

**Disclaimer:**_I do not own Charmed or any of its characters. I do however own Spike._

**Summary:**_ Chris revelation fic. Takes place around the time of Witch Stock._

**Previously, on Charmed:  
**  
_"Wait, if your Pipers son, and she is your cousin, then that means that your mine or Paige's daughter," Phoebe said, indicating to Spike. "And seeing as you got the inability to keep secrets from your aunt, I'm gonna say its Paige." _

_Spike shrugged._

------------

_**Part Four: Daddy Dearest**_

"Spike Patience Matthews Halliwell."

"Wait, you can shimmer," Paige said, "That means I marry a demon."

Chris shook his head. "He was half demon, half Phoenix witch."

"So that makes her part Whitelighter, part Witch, part Phoenix, and part demon?" Phoebe asked.

"Yeah," Chris said, "She was a handful growing up."

"Like you were any better," Spike snorted.

"What the hell compelled me to name you Spike?" Paige asked suddenly.

"You didn't. Dad wanted to, the demon side of him. You agreed on Sarah, then at some point everyone just started calling me Spike."

"Yeah, and it has nothing to do with your power or the fact that coincidentally, your father wanted to name you Spike," Chris said.

"What's your power?" Piper asked.

"Aside from orbing, shimmering, energy ball, healing, glamoring, you know the stuff all Whitelighters or demons can do, there's this." Spike held her hands out, and seconds later small spikes poked their way out of her hands. She brought one hand back then flung it in the direction of a painting. A dozen spikes embedded themselfs in the painting. The spikes began to melt into black ooze that melted the painting as well.

"Hey!" Piper exclaimed.

"What? It's not like anyone ever like that thing anyways," Spike grunted.

Paige and Phoebe nodded in agreement.

"How did you become such a neat freak?" Phoebe asked, as Spike orbed the oozing mess away, "I mean, everyone knows Paige is a complete slob."

"HEY!"

"You grow up in a house with these two peas in a pod," Spike indicated to Piper and Chris, "You get used to it."

"What do you mean, 'Two peas in a pod'?" Piper asked.

"Same basic powers, you two are the only people in the family that can actually cook, both hate messes, your like the same freaking person."

"Same powers?" Paige asked. "I thought he was telekinetic."

"I am. But that's not my only power." Chris turning looking for something to destroy. His eyes fell on an old vase. He flicked his wrists and it exploded.

"Hey!" Piper exclaimed, as Chris froze the pieces of glass, "I happened to like that vase."

Chris rolled his eyes and flicked his hand once more and the pot reformed.

"How'd you do that?"

"It's called magic, mom," Chris blushed slightly as Piper grinned at the new title.

"So," Phoebe started, "Are you going to tell Leo?"

"No!" Piper and Chris exclaimed in unison.

"See. They're the same person," Spike said.

"Piper, why not?"

"I know how hard it was to leave on son behind; I don't want to reopen those wounds."

Chris snorted.

---------- 6 months later

"Piper, Chris, your going to have to tell him sooner or later," Paige said.

"No we don't," Piper replied.

"So what, your going to wait until he's a few years old, and Leo has to come down for some reason. What are you going to tell him when he asks why there's two kids living in the nursery. _Oh, sorry Leo, I forgot to tell you, that's our second son, Chris_!"

"If he's not there for us in the future, then why is he there for us now!" Chris exclaimed.

"Father-Son issues," Spike whispered loudly.

"What do you mean Chris; he was there for the picture?" Piper asked.

"That was for Wyatt's birthday. He was always there for Wyatt. His birthday, school play, everything. But with me, it was the occasional birthday card three weeks late, if at all."

"Well your gonna have to tell him." Phoebe said.

"Who says?"

"We do."

Then Phoebe and Paige tilted there heads to the ceiling. "LEO!" they both called.

"Time to have a little talk with Daddy dearest," Spike grinned as Leo orbed in.

"Blessed be," Leo smiled.

Spike, Phoebe and Paige snorted in amusement.

"Who are you?" Leo asked.

Spike rolled her eyes and walked off with her mom and aunt.

"What's going on?"

"Here's an idea," Chris said, "You tell him about that, and I'll tell him the other thing." He got up from the stairs and walked into the kitchen.

"What's he talking about?" Leo asked. Piper stood up.

"I'm pregnant."

"Oh...Who's is it?"

Chris, Phoebe, Paige, and Spike, who were all listening in, almost screamed.

Piper gave him a look of disgust and there was a **SMACK! **as the smacked him across the face, before storming into the kitchen.

"Way to go Aunt Piper," Spike said.

Leo walked into the kitchen, "What the hell is going on?"

Everyone was silent. Phoebe, Paige and Spike were all looking back and forth between themselves and Piper; Chris was looking from Piper to Leo; Piper was vigorously scrubbing dishes, and Leo was looking at everyone wanting an answer.

"Piper, what's going on?"

Piper ignored him.

Leo asked again.

Still nothing.

"Hey, mom, I think Leo wants to talk to you," Chris grinned.

"What? Mom?"

"He really is the slowest person on the planet, isn't he?" Chris said.

"Hmm, so that's where you get it," Spike said, smirking.

Chris glared at her.

She grinned innocently back at him.

"What the hell is going on?" Leo shouted.

"I really thought you would have figured it out by now,_ Dad_."

"What?" Leo coughed, as Chris rolled his eyes and orbed out.

"He's your son!" Phoebe exclaimed, growing tired of twenty questions.

"What?"

"We'll leave you and Piper to talk."

------

-Ella-the-crash-test-dummy-


	5. What do You Care?

**Title:**_Oh My God_

**Rating**_ T: Language_

**Disclaimer:**_I do not own Charmed or any of its characters. I do however own Spike._

**Summary:**_ Chris revelation fic. Takes place around the time of Witch Stock._

**Author's note:** _Father Son moment in this chapter. Similar to the events of Spin City._

_  
_**Previously, on Charmed: **

-------------

_"I really thought you would have figured it out by now, Dad."_

_"What?" Leo coughed, as Chris rolled his eyes and orbed out._

_"He's your son!" Phoebe exclaimed, growing tired of twenty questions._

_"What?"_

_"We'll leave you and Piper to talk."_

--------------

_**Part Five: What do you care?**_

"Piper what going on?" Leo asked quietly. He could sense that the girls were true to there word and were no eavesdropping like they normally did.

"Spirit realm six months ago. You remember."

"Of course," Leo smiled slightly.

"And this little baby," Piper cradled her stomach, "Is Chris. He came here to save his brother from turning evil."

"What? Evil. I though he was saving him from evil?"

"That's what we thought to."

Leo was quite for a moment. "He's my son. And I've treated him like crap."

"We all did Leo."

"Does he hate me?" Leo asked.

"Honestly, yes. But because of something you do in the future. Go talk to him and see if we can change it."

----------

"Chris?" Leo asked, orbing to the top of the Golden Gate Bridge, where Chris was sitting on one of the beams. "Can we talk?"

"There is _nothing_ to talk about," Chris spat, his voice shaky.

"I think there is Chris."

"Go to hell," Chris said, attempting to orb out, but Leo used his Elder powers to stop him (A/N: let's just pretend that Elders have that power). Chris glared at him then looked away, an angry look on his face.

"What did I do to be such a bad dad?"

Chris ignored him.

"Tell me so I can change things."

"WHAT DO YOU CARE?" Chris shouted, finally facing his father, his eyes slightly cloudy. "You never cared before. You only care about Wyatt, and he is the only thing you will _ever_ care about."

"That's not true Chris."

"Really!" He started shouting again. "You said that before. You were always there for Wyatt. For everything, even the things that didn't really matter. But you were always to busy to be there when I needed you. On birthdays you had elder meetings. You'd send a card a few weeks late if you remembered. When mom died. I called for you for ten minutes, trying to get you to come heal her. Ten minutes she suffered. Then Wyatt got home. He called for you once. Once. And you came in seconds. When you saw what happed you started screaming at me. Yelling that it was my fault. Even though I already knew it. That if I had called for you, she would be okay. And you wouldn't listen. You wouldn't even look at me."

"Chris..."

Chris shook his head in disgust before orbing away.

Leo then orbed to Elder land.

---------

"Leo!" Piper said, surprised, as he orbed in. "I thought you were going back up there?"

It had been several days since Leo had found out about Chris. Chris said he could sense that Leo was back up in Elder land. So everyone assumed that he had gone up for good again.

"I quit."

"What?" Piper asked.

"I told them I didn't want to be an elder anymore. I wanted to stay with my family."

Piper smiled.

"So they stripped my of my powers and sent me back."

"But I thought you wanted to be an elder?"

"I want to be with you. That's all that matters. You, and Wyatt, and Chris are all that matters."

Piper smiled before kissing him.

"Ew," Chris said, walking down the stairs.

Piper laughed. "What, not used to seeing your parents kiss?"

"No, actually."

"Oh."

----- The end. -----

---------------

_**So this is basicly it. I finished writing this story in less than twenty-four hours. Hence it being so crappy. Thank you for bothering to read. Now go read other stuff.**_

_**-Ella-the-crash-test-dummy-**_


End file.
